I am no longer "taking" Haldol as my prescribed drug... They had started to make my hair fall on the right side of my skull... Even though I factually never ingest the drug... Huummm... Could it be that this loss of hair is in fact caused by Voodoo/Magic...?!?
On the 13th of July I had a new appointment with a new Shrink called Dr. Cigvard. I chose him mainly because he takes the "Vital" Card as method of payment, and it is a great convenience for me to "pay"* for my sessions through this method. Our first session was fine, and he agreed to change my prescription back to Risperdal, as I explained that in comparison to the other 2 (Zyprexa and Haldol) it seemed to be the better one of the 3. After getting my prescription filled, I noticed that new undesired secondary effects had been added to the list... Like Brain Hemorrhaging and various VERY undesirable effects to the skin... So I didn't start the treatment.
On the 17th of July, I met with Dr. Cigvard for the 2nd time. "Oooops" I told him a lie... I told him that the effect of Risperdal had been intolerable, and apparently, it would probably be best to go back to taking Zyprexa. We got in to a no win (for me) discussion, going on and on about what drug would be best, and that he wished for me to go back to St. Antoine because they knew me best, and were the only ones who could have the authority to change my treatment. I insisted that could not be the case, given that it was only an approx 2 week long stay... Also he was pushing towards suggesting that Hospitalization seemed to be necessary!!! Funny, that the man** does not know me enough to change my treatment more than once, but enough to consider that I need to be hospitalized... Oddly enough... lately in my discussion on a forum called Gothic Match, where people have become aware of my schizophrenia, and I am sure that many... most... all of the ones talking to me are involved in the "Game". And they're all "singing" then same chorus: "You need help hun... You need to get on some meds... You need go check yourself in to the loony bin..." OH! how strange of a coincidence that I seem to be having a similar dialogue with them, my shrink... And NOW my MOTHER... Who had come to town... Could it be... Really... Just for me... To help me celebrate a "Happy" Birthday... That everyone wishes for me to go and celebrate it in the loony bin...!!! Really?! Noooo (sarcasm)...
Well, since then I've gone back to see my old shrink, who apparently didn't take it too bad that I had decided to go see someone else... Anyway, on paper I am now officially back on Zyprexa, for now 5mg daily... Which I of course do not take... As mentioned before, just in case
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*: Because of the type of disease that I have, my medical bills are payed by the French social security at a rate of 100%, so basically FREE. And when I can use the "Vital" card, the payments are done automatically from the social security's funds to the Doctor or Pharmacist, and there is no interval between me paying and getting reimbursed.
**: very obviously a Mason... Apparently still (well sort of, at least he thinks so) a FREEmason who still has his ring. I tried to ask him about his beliefs, and his evasiveness was just so obvious... I almost got him to lie... But he managed to find the argument that it was inappropriate for him to get into such details given the type of relationship we had: Doctor Patient... Took him a while though... Ha ha... Got you though... I've also served with some papers... To sewing him "naked" as I say...
On the 13th of July I had a new appointment with a new Shrink called Dr. Cigvard. I chose him mainly because he takes the "Vital" Card as method of payment, and it is a great convenience for me to "pay"* for my sessions through this method. Our first session was fine, and he agreed to change my prescription back to Risperdal, as I explained that in comparison to the other 2 (Zyprexa and Haldol) it seemed to be the better one of the 3. After getting my prescription filled, I noticed that new undesired secondary effects had been added to the list... Like Brain Hemorrhaging and various VERY undesirable effects to the skin... So I didn't start the treatment.
On the 17th of July, I met with Dr. Cigvard for the 2nd time. "Oooops" I told him a lie... I told him that the effect of Risperdal had been intolerable, and apparently, it would probably be best to go back to taking Zyprexa. We got in to a no win (for me) discussion, going on and on about what drug would be best, and that he wished for me to go back to St. Antoine because they knew me best, and were the only ones who could have the authority to change my treatment. I insisted that could not be the case, given that it was only an approx 2 week long stay... Also he was pushing towards suggesting that Hospitalization seemed to be necessary!!! Funny, that the man** does not know me enough to change my treatment more than once, but enough to consider that I need to be hospitalized... Oddly enough... lately in my discussion on a forum called Gothic Match, where people have become aware of my schizophrenia, and I am sure that many... most... all of the ones talking to me are involved in the "Game". And they're all "singing" then same chorus: "You need help hun... You need to get on some meds... You need go check yourself in to the loony bin..." OH! how strange of a coincidence that I seem to be having a similar dialogue with them, my shrink... And NOW my MOTHER... Who had come to town... Could it be... Really... Just for me... To help me celebrate a "Happy" Birthday... That everyone wishes for me to go and celebrate it in the loony bin...!!! Really?! Noooo (sarcasm)...
Well, since then I've gone back to see my old shrink, who apparently didn't take it too bad that I had decided to go see someone else... Anyway, on paper I am now officially back on Zyprexa, for now 5mg daily... Which I of course do not take... As mentioned before, just in case
____________________________________
*: Because of the type of disease that I have, my medical bills are payed by the French social security at a rate of 100%, so basically FREE. And when I can use the "Vital" card, the payments are done automatically from the social security's funds to the Doctor or Pharmacist, and there is no interval between me paying and getting reimbursed.
**: very obviously a Mason... Apparently still (well sort of, at least he thinks so) a FREEmason who still has his ring. I tried to ask him about his beliefs, and his evasiveness was just so obvious... I almost got him to lie... But he managed to find the argument that it was inappropriate for him to get into such details given the type of relationship we had: Doctor Patient... Took him a while though... Ha ha... Got you though... I've also served with some papers... To sewing him "naked" as I say...
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